Jaded Times

Sec. of State Rice referred to the conflict in Lebanon as “birthing pains”.  Jon Stewart had an excellent take on that, courtesy of onegoodmove.org.

My question:  if it was birthing pains, wouldn’t Israel and Hezbollah had to have, you know, had a night of passionate fucking to bring them about?  You know, some candle light, a nice moonlit stroll, perhaps some solid, intimate foreplay?  Don’t recall seeing that on CNN…

Who would have thunk it?  Republicans are finally starting to get fed up with this retarded monkey leader of ours.  Yes, even the GOP has taken issue with his dutiful “if I feel like it” attitude, an approach to government that has served him well over the past five and a half years, from warnings about Al-Quieda strikes in 2001 to WMDs in Iraq to the Katrina catastrophe.  At issue now?  Apparently, while the President has only vetoed one bill in his tenure thus far, he has apparently included writers to the majority of bills, called “signing statements”, which define his responsibility to actually enforce the laws that the bill creates, sometimes to a completely non-existent degree:

Among his most controversial were an assertion that he would not necessarily enforce a ban on torture – the McCain amendment – or a ban on the censoring of government scientists’ findings.

Wow.  I wonder if he included signing statements to his recent signing of the overpublicized child molestation bill or the recent voting rights bill.

Seriously, does this guy do anything for a living?

This CNN report outlines the plan placed into action by the US government to evacuate our nationals currently in Lebanon.  However, it fails to mention that the government will be charging their own citizens for the service:

At the State Department, McCormack said the cost of a massive evacuation was beyond U.S. resources. He said evacuated Americans would be asked to pay commercial rates, and if they did not have the money to promise to pay in the future. (source)

I guess that actually protecting Americans from Mid-East violence is less important than causing it, huh?  Or perhaps it’s just less cost effective…

Never one to be hung up on progressing the nation, species, or anything resembling positive legislation, President Bush had vetoed a bill that would have opened a cap on federal funding for stem cell research. Citing his blind, illogical, and inaccurate faith in a 2000 years-dead Jew (who apparently believed a lot of things that churches which bear his name disagree with) as reason enough to not help those suffering with debilitating and fatal illnesses, Bush claims that he is taking the moral high ground:

“This bill would support the taking of innocent human life of the hope of finding medical benefits for others”

Which makes perfect sense; why help the people that are actually around, right? These are the future victims of America here, they must be protected! By the way, embryos aren’t people. Just thought I’d clear that up, in case there was any question in the matter.

Ironically, and in as shocking a moment as the Coulter mindfuck of 2005, Republican mouthpiece and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist actually supported the bill. When the President is too conservative for Frist, we’re in pretty bad shape.
Way to go, douchebag. Here’s hoping both your daughters get diabetes.