Jaded Times

Birds do it. Bees do it. Even military leaders do it. Let’s do it, let’s call for the “retirement” of (or stringing up of, either way) Donald “I can’t believe it’s not better” Rumsfeld. Yes, the man-with-no-plan is losing supporters left and right as our higher level military officials pull their heads out of their asses long enough to see that going to war without a plan isn’t, well, wise.

So Wow. A call for Donnie to step down, and just a mere five years too late! Good thing we waited for him to lead us into the worst military debacle of the past half century before calling for his removal.

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Iran needs to stop enriching uranium.  We all know it.  After all, what could that enriched uranium be used for?  I mean, having things like reliable power sources for hospitals, schools, streetlights, air conditioning…  There is no need to enrich the lives of Irania–er, uranium.  Yeah, uranium.

Thankfully for President Bush, Iran has been utterly non-compliant, and the threat has proven to be imminent and, therefor, something that must be dealt with swiftly.

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Our continuing great success in Iraq has never been clearer than in this recent report filed by MSNBC.  I mean, just look at that picture.  Would a beaten down, oppressed population fearing for their lives in their very homes take the time out to go camping?  We think not.

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I’m beginning to believe that FOXNews.com has hired someone from the Bush administration, as their recent article choices have, well, left something to be desired. And that something isn’t ass.

I mean, some of my previous posts might imply that I’m not FOX News’ biggest fan, but come on, whoever decided to post this piece (originally run in NYPOST.com, which is even more tragic) should really be examined for signs of mini-stroke or mental retardation.

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Agents of the malevolent organization “SCIENCE” (Society to Counteract Intelligent Education for Neo-Conservative Evangelists) released a new weapon, something they call a “fact”, on Thursday in their war against almighty God. The “fact”? The much touted missing link in human evolution:

Until now, what scientists had were snapshots of human evolution scattered around the world. Finding everything all in one general area makes those snapshots more of a mini home movie of evolution.

Movie, huh? We wish the SCIENCE bastards luck competing with such God classics as “The Passion of the Christ” and the “Left Behind” series, starring God spokesman Kirk Cameron.

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Two 28 year old teacher arrests were reported today:

New Jersey

Tennessee

And they say that teachers don’t care enough.  All I know is I went to the wrong damn school.

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The University of Pittsburgh has released a study that says that people who play violent video games are more likely to think it is acceptable to smoke pot, according to Reuters. One can only assume that the next study will focus on whether people in bars are more likely to drink alcohol than people in church.

Well done, U of P!  Here’s some extra info for you:  I smoke pot while watching Golden Girls reruns.  Give Scalia a call, I bet you can get a warrant out for Bea Arthur.

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Faux News reports that Justice Scalia’s proudest moment was defending Vice President Cheney’s request to keep private the details of closed door strategy sessions that resulted in the White House’s energy policy. Details that, strangely, have no need to be kept private, and also could incriminate the Vice President and Ken Lay, who you may remember from his previous run stealing from his employee’s futures at Enron. Scalia seems to think that we should trust our president and his cabinet, and with such a stellar track record, who could argue with him?

“For Pete’s sake, if you can’t trust your Supreme Court justice more than that, get a life”

Great argument, Antonin! I can clearly see how you rose through the legal ranks.

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President still defensive. Or delusional. One of those “D” words.

Britney’s son does normal baby thing. And this is listed as #2 on Fox’s RSS feed. I’m not kidding.

Fox misspells Glasgow. Or they think a plane landed on a sculpted glass bovine. Whatever.

Party at Mexico’s place. Bring towels.

Rice restates the obvious. Really, why DO you people like her so much?

Democracy truly has improved Baghdad. Well, Bush, I guess I was wrong.

World Court Celebrates 60th Birthday. Happy Birthday, Court! For one shining moment, the United States will acknowledge your existence.

US Study wastes funding to discover what any sixth grader could tell them.

Moron is glutton for punishment.

Fox reports on tax poll.  Really, all this shows is the priorities of Fox’s key demographic.

And, though I rip on Fox regularly, they win post of the day, as the term “Moat of Death” is just plain awesome.

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The San Francisco Chronicle reported quite possibly the most inept moment in US military security since…well, what time is it? AND they followed up with pretty frightening results (note the timeframe here).

Anyway, I was prepping a piece about this but found that the vastly superior Wonkette not only beat us to it, but beat us with class, style, and a large wooden stick. Well played, Wonkette. Well played.

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