Jaded Times

Dammit, California, America has spoken!  We don’t want gays getting married.  There is a perfectly logical reason, and that is that God, or Allah, or L Ron Hubbard will destroy the earth if people who love each other are recognized as such by the state.  Didn’t you read the Bible?  Or the Koran?  Or Dianetics?  Wait, maybe that was from Battlefield Earth, or the Book of Mormon, or any of the lesser known (or B-list) works…

As an American and a human, I will go on record for a THIRD time to say I am embarrassed that this is something any of us would care enough about to vote against.  Honestly, what fucking business is it of yours who other people marry?  It’s as if, somehow, allowing gay people to be married will unite their gayness into a gay coalition of some sort, that could then rise up out of the gayetto and possibly overtake our children, forcing the men to crave cock and the women to buy flannel shirts.  We must protect our adoption agency workers jobs!  And our flannel industry!  Keep adoption legal!  Keep flannel, um, Canadian?

I honestly just feel sorry for people who feel like they somehow have the right to decide what is morally right for anyone other than themselves. How about this, America: I don’t think fat people should be allowed to get married.  After all, it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and some chick wearing a mu-mu. And before you start quoting scripture at me, gluttony is ALSO a sin, so drop the twinkie and hit the treadmill you hypocrite.

A couple of stellar pull quotes:

“In America, we should uphold and respect the right of people to make policy changes through the democratic process, especially changes that do nothing more than uphold the definition of marriage that has existed since the founding of this country and beyond,” said Jim Campbell, a lawyer on the defense team.

Campbell makes an excellent point here; at the time of the founding of this country, African-Americans were predominantly slaves and women were treated as property.  So by the transitive property, we can thusly assume that Jim Campbell wishes to re-enslave black people and put women back in the kitchen where they belong.  A bold stance, Mr. Campbell, but we have to admire your honesty. If, you know, nothing else about you.

Former U.S. Justice Department lawyer Charles Cooper, who represented the religious and conservative groups that sponsored the ban, said cultures around the world, previous courts and Congress all accepted the “common sense belief that children do best when they are raised by their own mother and father.”

Holy shit, I couldn’t agree with this more!  I don’t think anyone in the world is pro-homosexuals-stealing-babies.  Beyond that, I fail to see Mr. Cooper’s point, as I think that even the biggest homophobe on the planet must concede that it is far better to be raised in a loving environment than in a boarding house by the state (which would be some of that socialism that the right seems to only hate when convenient for them).  Or maybe this is more of the right’s war on adoption.  Keep adoption legal.  KEEP IT LEGAL.

Either way, tragic loss to the DoJ’s legal team, that Cooper.

(seriously, though, congrats California for joining the very short list of states who are seeing reason, even if the only person to finally do something about it is one of only three openly gay federal judges in the country)

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