A piece of spam that circulated our offices recently was particularly “poignant”, so I felt I should respond (please note that some web searching had several sources, including the so far “batting 1000″ snopes.com, claiming that the speech quotes are true–also, all typos are SIC, nothing has been altered [draw your own conclusions]):

Think something like this isn’t happening? Scary. It is happening as you Read this…..

We know Dick Lamm as the former Governor of Colorado. In that context his Thoughts are particularly poignant. Last week there was an immigration Overpopulation conference in Washington, DC, filled to capacity by many of American’s finest minds and leaders. A brilliant college professor by the Name of Victor Hansen Davis talked about his latest book, Mexifornia,” Explaining how immigration – both legal and illegal – was destroying the Entire state of California. He said it would march across the country Until it destroyed all vestiges of The American Dream

I would just like to point out here that Jesse “The Body” Ventura got elected to Governor. That doesn’t immediately make his comments poignant, nor does the use of the term give his words any more meaning. Though his stellar work in Predator really does make him one of my favorite politicians…

Moments later, former Colorado Governor Richard D. Lamm stood up and gave a Stunning speech on how to destroy America. The audience sat spellbound as he Described eight methods for the destruction of the United States. He said, “If you believe that Americans too smug, too self-satisfied, too rich, then let’s destroy America It is not that hard to do. No nation in history has Survived the ravages of time Arnold Toynbee observed that all great Civilizations rise and fall and that ‘An autopsy of history would show that All great nations commit suicide.’ “

Anyone can quote. Here: “Solipsism is its own reward” (Joel Hodgeson). Hardly relevant, but there you go.

And I like that his initial response to being challenged for being too rich, too self-satisfied, and smug is destruction. Not, say, using such privilege for positive improvements in the nation. Though the entire piece is, of course, satirical, that attitude seems to ring true throughout.

Here is how they do it,” Lamm said: “First, to destroy America, turn America Into a bilingual or multi-lingual and bicultural country.” History shows That no nation can survive the tension, conflict, and antagonism of two or More competing languages and cultures.

It is a blessing for an individual To be bilingual; however, it is a curse for a society to be bilingual. The Historical scholar, Seymour Lipset, put it this way: “The histories of Bilingual and bi-cultural societies that do not assimilate are histories of Turmoil, tension, and tragedy.” Canada, Belgium, Malaysia, and Lebanon all Face crises of national existence in which minorities press for autonomy, if Not independence. Pakistan and Cyprus have divided. Nigeria suppressed an Ethnic rebellion. France faces difficulties with Basques, Bretons, and Corsicans.”.

Yeah, like Holland. It was sad when that nation was eradicated. All that was left was a couple of smoldering wood shoes and a windmill held at half mast.

And on a serious note, EVERY single one of the countries he cites here have had historically significant problems that led to their rebellions and uprisings, none of which have ANYTHING to do with bilingualism. If the desire is to establish a common language with no prejudice, why not try esperanto? Oh, yeah. Because teaching your youth another language would be counter to the US approach to education, which is “I vaguely remember hearing about that on FOX News–weren’t there shootings or something?”

Also, “It is a blessing for an individual To be bilingual”? Um, sorry, no. God has nothing to do with it, it is a simple matter of education to be bilingual. This delusional belief that God will solve all is, quite frankly, one of our nation’s greatest problems.

Lamm went on: Second, to destroy America, “Invent ‘multiculturalism’ and Encourage immigrants to maintain their culture. I would make it an article Of belief that all cultures are equal. That there are no cultural Differences. I would make it an article of faith that the Black and Hispanic Dropout rates are due solely to prejudice and discrimination by the Majority. Every other explanation is out of bounds.”

Multiculturalism is not about differentiation, but about maintaining a sense of self and your original culture. Saying there are no cultural differences is the same as wondering why Jews wouldn’t want to see a movie with you on Friday. If any of you agree with that, I have no logical defense, and spot on, well done (seriously).

On both sides of the argument, the problem is removed if our children were well educated. Good thing there’s a new season of American Idol, so we don’t have to worry ourselves thinking of that.

Third, “We could make the United States an ‘Hispanic Quebec’ without much Effort. The key is to celebrate diversity rather than unity. As Benjamin Schwarz said in the Atlantic Monthly recently: “The apparent success of our Own multiethnic and multicultural experiment might have been achieved not by Tolerance but by hegemony. Without the dominance that once dictated Ethnocentricity and what it meant to be an American, we are left with only Tolerance and pluralism to hold us together.” Lamm said, “I would encourage All immigrants to keep their own language and culture. I would replace the Melting pot metaphor with the salad bowl metaphor. It is important to ensure That we have various cultural subgroups living in America enforcing their Differences rather than as Americans, emphasizing their similarities.”

Quebec is not a sovereign nation. It is sad to me that a former US governor is incapable of recognizing that.

To be honest, I was tempted to stop reading at that ridiculously inept comparison, but I went on. If Lamm truly wants hegemony, then I await the bill he pushes forward demanding church attendance, as the majority of our country is Christian (I’ll avoid the distinction between Christian churches, as that would take far longer than I plan to give this ludicrous argument).

“Fourth, I would make our fastest growing demographic group the least Educated. I would add a second underclass, unassimilated, undereducated, and Antagonistic to our population. I would have this second underclass have a 50% dropout rate from high school.”

I agree completely with his point here. I don’t see him doing anything to improve education in this country, though. Nor do I see our President doing anything other than praying; let’s ask the people of New Orleans how well prayer worked for them.

“My fifth point for destroying America would be to get big foundations and Business to give these efforts lots of money. I would invest in ethnic Identity, and I would establish the cult of ‘Victimology.’ I would get all Minorities to think that their lack of success was the fault of the majority I would start a grievance industry blaming all minority failure on the Majority population.”

Big words. Considering that our current government has spent the last five years making life easier for the rich and more difficult for the poor. Seriously, EVERY person I know is having to pay more in taxes now and getting less cuts. Victimized? Might be a bit dramatic, but they’re certainly not getting the 5 star treatment that Ken Ley is getting, or the “understanding” our government extended to Haliburton (which I need not remind you, our vice president is, let’s just say, “connected” to) when they “lost” millions in federal funding…

“My sixth plan for America’s downfall would include dual citizenship, and Promote divided loyalties. I would celebrate diversity over unity I would Stress differences rather than similarities. Diverse people worldwide are Mostly engaged in hating each other – that is, when they are not killing Each other. A diverse, peaceful, or stable society is against most Historical precedent. People undervalue the unity it takes to keep a nation Together. Look at the ancient Greeks. The Greeks believed that they belonged To the same race; they possessed a common language and literature; and they Worshipped the same gods. All Greece took part the Olympic games. A common Enemy, Persia, threatened their liberty. Yet all these bonds were not strong Enough to overcome two factors: local patriotism and geographical conditions That nurtured political divisions. Greece fell. “E. Pluribus Unum” — From Many, one. In that historical reality, if we put the emphasis on the ‘pluribus’ instead of the ‘Unum,’ we will balkanize America as surely as Kosovo.”

I’m not even going to go into the Grecian rule issues, but if you want to be ruled by a tyrant…well, we’re almost there, actually, so kudos to Lamm on that one.
To reference a specific point:

Diverse people worldwide are Mostly engaged in hating each other – that is, when they are not killing Each other.

Yeah. As a proud American (and I am, make no mistake), it’s a bit misled to make this claim while occupying and killing the denizens of a country halfway across the globe. Besides, I thought one of the major POINTS that made America great was the acceptance of diversity, and the fact that we function as a nation bound together by nationalism, not ethnicity. Am I wrong here?

“Next to last, I would place all subjects off limits; make it taboo to talk about anything against the cult of ‘diversity.’ I would find a word similar to ‘heretic’ in the 16th century – that stopped discussion and paralyzed thinking. Words like ‘racist’ or xenophobe’ halt discussion and debate. Having made America a bilingual/bicultural country, having established multi-culturism, having the large foundations fund the doctrine of ‘Victimology,’ I would next make it impossible to enforce our immigration laws. I would develop a mantra: That because immigration has been good for America, it must always be good. I would make every individual immigrant symmetric and ignore the cumulative impact of millions of them.”

Oh, Mr. Lamm, is it hard being a privileged white male? Wait, I think I can muster a tear for your $137,000/year salaried ass (oh, wait, that was while you still WERE governor). Not that it is a bad thing to be a privileged white male, especially if you have earned it. I enjoy several privileges, many not so earned, that hundreds of thousands of people will never experience (being white being towards the top of the list), but I’m also not whining about it.

As for the issues of immigration, yeah, there is a problem. Well done. That problem has existed the ENTIRETY of my life; funny it should come up at a point when we’re fighting a losing war that our President refuses to even properly address, or at a time when no less than four members of his inner circle are being investigated. I haven’t seen politics this shallow since the democrats started arguing God in the pledge of allegiance, back when they were trying to obfuscate their own support for the war. Sad, sad, sad.

Plus I would point out that this same sarcastic argument “Because immigration has been good for America, it must always be good”, is the same argument the current government is ramming down our throats daily for their policies. Off topic, but for ONCE I would like to see a government, democrat or republican, actually give a shit about the people of this nation or its future.

In the last minute of his speech, Governor Lamm wiped his brow. Profound silence followed. Finally he said,. “Lastly, I would censor Victor Hanson Davis’s book Mexifornia. His book is dangerous. It exposes the plan to destroy America. If you feel America deserves to be destroyed, don’t read that book.”.

And next? We censor Thoreau, because we need the poorly educated to pay taxes.

You can’t seriously be telling me this guy is advocating censorship. If this had been the first comment, it would have saved me reading his entire delusional rant.

There was no applause. A chilling fear quietly rose like an ominous cloud above every attendee at the conference. Every American in that room knew that everything Lamm enumerated was proceeding methodically,quietly, darkly, yet pervasively across the United States today. Discussion is being suppressed. Over 100 languages are ripping the foundation of our educational system and national cohesiveness. Barbaric cultures that practice female genital mutilation are growing as we celebrate ‘diversity’ American jobs are vanishing into the Third World as corporations create a Third World in America – take note of California and other states – to date, ten million illegal aliens and growing fast. It is reminiscent of George Orwell’s book “1984.” In that story, three slogans are engraved in the Ministry of Truth building: “War is peace,” “Freedom is slavery,” and “Ignorance is strength.”

This is true, in part (mostly the part about the silence). Though I think mostly due to astonishment, a sort of combination of “what the hell was that madman trying to say? That we should burn books and ignore the real problems of this nation?” and “Jesus, the balls on THAT guy”.

As for languages “Ripping the foundation of our education system”, guess what? It hasn’t been very strong in a long, long time. NO politicians, democrat or republican, have put any time at all into actually trying to improve the level of education in this country. Our children are poorly educated. Period. And we wonder why our country is going to shit. Probably because the people wondering are poorly educated as well.

It ALL starts with education. Period. We create a responsible, educated society, and they know how to live. How to work. How to make decisions. How to vote.

As for the corporations, see below for the immigration portion, but if you want to prevent jobs from disappearing into other countries, police the corporations, not the people. Educate the populace, so they can advance the companies they work for and the nation they are so proud to fight an illegal war for. For the California bit, see below again, but honestly our state would be royally screwed if illegal immigration disappeared. Remember, though those people aren’t paying taxes, the companies that hire them are, and if they can’t turn profits…

As for the Ministry of Truth slogans, the first and third seem to be Bush Administration mottos to me.

Governor Lamm walked back to his seat. It dawned on everyone at the conference that our nation and the future of this great democracy is deeply in trouble and worsening fast. If we don’t get this immigration monster stopped within three years, it will rage like a California wildfire and destroy everything in its path, especially The American Dream.

Yeah, Mr. Lamm (and/or whoever is writing out of context at this point), and if we don’t deal with the problem of gays marrying by 2007, then our deer population will suffer severe feeding problems. Blind statements are fun and easy to make, no?

And what is this American Dream you speak of? I thought it was the chance to live in a free society and within a meritocracy. Funny, but that hasn’t existed in my lifetime, so if you want to bring it back, good luck to you, and if I can be of any help, I would gladly donate my services.

And, slightly off topic, whoever wrote the original email has some goddamn balls to speak for everyone at the convention. Were they even polled as to how they felt? I somehow doubt it. Usually when people do not applaud a speech, it is because they disagree. But that is based on logic, and again, we haven’t had any of that since last Tuesday.

But, back to topic, the censoring of books, thoughts, and ideas is in and of itself indicative of an individual or group unwilling to properly educate its people, ESPECIALLY in a democracy. The sheer mention of censoring this book is, to me, an indication of his lack of faith in his countrymen and his lack of concern for the education of our children.

Thought provoking? Send it on!!

It certainly is! As for how immigration is ruining our country, I’d like to see what would happen if we closed our borders tightly and deported all illegal immigrants. The result would be the collapse of America. I’m sorry, but that is true. For as many problems as immigration and illegal immigrants pose for this nation, the economy could not withstand the removal of the illegal immigrant workforce. Fact. There are several, SEVERAL steps that would have to be taken before anything like this could be proposed; the first and foremost would be a sufficient increase in taxes, mostly for the wealthy (as the lower middle class and below are currently taxed about as far as they can be), because the government would need to alleviate the small business and corporate bailout money and tax relief that would be absolutely necessary to sustain our economy. Immigrant labour is cheap, plentiful, and available. Is that right? Hell no. But if you want to address the problem of immigration, start by policing the businesses that offer jobs to immigrants coming across the border, as current studies are stating that the majority of immigrants that illegally enter this country ALREADY have work ready for them. Crack down on that, and you have successfully cracked down on the illegal immigration issues this nation faces. THEN approach the border policy.

Here are a few facts, brought to us by James Helper of North Carolina:

By 2010, there will be 10 million unfilled jobs in the US. These jobs can only be filled if immigration increases – otherwise, the US economy will stagnate.

Many states affected by immigration note significant positive impacts in their states based on immigration. Each year, immigrants contribute $10 billion to the economy through consumption and production. In 1997, illegal immigrants paid more than $133 billion in federal, state, and local taxes, and on average pay $80,000 more in taxes than they will receive in a lifetime.

— – US Bureau of Labor Statistics, Sept. 2005

And now, Mr. Lamm’s revised faux plan, provided by snopes:

I HAVE A PLAN TO DESTROY AMERICA
RICHARD D. LAMM

I HAVE A SECRET PLAN TO DESTROY AMERICA. IF YOU BELIEVE, AS MANY DO, THAT AMERICA IS TOO SMUG, TOO WHITE BREAD, TOO SELF-SATISFIED, TOO RICH, LETS DESTROY AMERICA. IT IS NOT THAT HARD TO DO. HISTORY SHOWS THAT NATIONS ARE MORE FRAGILE THAN THEIR CITIZENS THINK. NO NATION IN HISTORY HAS SURVIVED THE RAVAGES OF TIME. ARNOLD TOYNBEE OBSERVED THAT ALL GREAT CIVILIZATIONS RISE AND THEY ALL FALL, AND THAT “AN AUTOPSY OF HISTORY WOULD SHOW THAT ALL GREAT NATIONS COMMIT SUICIDE.” HERE IS MY PLAN:

I. WE MUST FIRST MAKE AMERICA A BILINGUAL-BICULTURAL COUNTRY. HISTORY SHOWS, IN MY OPINION, THAT NO NATION CAN SURVIVE THE TENSION, CONFLICT, AND ANTAGONISM OF TWO COMPETING LANGUAGES AND CULTURES. IT IS A BLESSING FOR AN INDIVIDUAL TO BE BILINGUAL; IT IS A CURSE FOR A SOCIETY TO BE BILINGUAL. ONE SCHOLAR, SEYMOUR MARTIN LIPSET, PUT IT THIS WAY:

THE HISTORIES OF BILINGUAL AND BICULTURAL SOCIETIES THAT DO NOT ASSIMILATE ARE HISTORIES OF TURMOIL, TENSION, AND TRAGEDY. CANADA, BELGIUM, MALAYSIA, LEBANON-ALL FACE CRISES OF NATIONAL EXISTENCE IN WHICH MINORITIES PRESS FOR AUTONOMY, IF NOT INDEPENDENCE. PAKISTAN AND CYPRUS HAVE DIVIDED. NIGERIA SUPPRESSED AN ETHNIC REBELLION. FRANCE FACES DIFFICULTIES WITH ITS BASQUES, BRETONS, AND CORSICANS.

II. I WOULD THEN INVENT “MULTICULTURALISM” AND ENCOURAGE IMMIGRANTS TO MAINTAIN THEIR OWN CULTURE. I WOULD MAKE IT AN ARTICLE OF BELIEF THAT ALL CULTURES ARE EQUAL: THAT THERE ARE NO CULTURAL DIFFERENCES THAT ARE IMPORTANT. I WOULD DECLARE IT AN ARTICLE OF FAITH THAT THE BLACK AND HISPANIC DROPOUT RATE IS ONLY DUE TO PREJUDICE AND DISCRIMINATION BY THE MAJORITY. EVERY OTHER EXPLANATION IS OUT-OF-BOUNDS.

III. WE CAN MAKE THE UNITED STATES A “HISPANIC QUEBEC” WITHOUT MUCH EFFORT. THE KEY IS TO CELEBRATE DIVERSITY RATHER THAN UNITY. AS BENJAMIN SCHWARZ SAID IN THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY RECENTLY:

…THE APPARENT SUCCESS OF OUR OWN MULTIETHNIC AND MULTICULTURAL EXPERIMENT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ACHIEVED NOT BY TOLERANCE BUT BY HEGEMONY. WITHOUT THE DOMINANCE THAT ONCE DICTATED ETHNOCENTRICALLY, AND WHAT IT MEANT TO BE AN AMERICAN, WE ARE LEFT WITH ONLY TOLERANCE AND PLURALISM TO HOLD US TOGETHER.

I WOULD ENCOURAGE ALL IMMIGRANTS TO KEEP THEIR OWN LANGUAGE AND CULTURE. I WOULD REPLACE THE MELTING POT METAPHOR WITH A SALAD BOWL METAPHOR. IT IS IMPORTANT TO INSURE THAT WE HAVE VARIOUS CULTURAL SUB-GROUPS LIVING IN AMERICA REINFORCING THEIR DIFFERENCES RATHER THAN AMERICANS, EMPHASIZING THEIR SIMILARITIES.

IV. HAVING DONE ALL THIS, I WOULD MAKE OUR FASTEST GROWING DEMOGRAPHIC GROUP THE LEAST EDUCATED – I WOULD ADD A SECOND UNDERCLASS, UNASSIMILATED, UNDEREDUCATED, AND ANTAGONISTIC TO OUR POPULATION. I WOULD HAVE THIS SECOND UNDERCLASS HAVE A 50% DROP OUT RATE FROM SCHOOL.

V. I WOULD THEN GET THE BIG FOUNDATIONS AND BIG BUSINESS TO GIVE THESE EFFORTS LOTS OF MONEY. I WOULD INVEST IN ETHNIC IDENTITY, AND I WOULD ESTABLISH THE CULT OF VICTIMOLOGY. I WOULD GET ALL MINORITIES TO THINK THEIR LACK OF SUCCESS WAS ALL THE FAULT OF THE MAJORITY – I WOULD START A GRIEVANCE INDUSTRY BLAMING ALL MINORITY FAILURE ON THE MAJORITY POPULATION.

VI. I WOULD ESTABLISH DUAL CITIZENSHIP AND PROMOTE DIVIDED LOYALTIES. I WOULD “CELEBRATE DIVERSITY.” “DIVERSITY” IS A WONDERFULLY SEDUCTIVE WORD. IT STRESSES DIFFERENCES RATHER THAN COMMONALITIES. DIVERSE PEOPLE WORLDWIDE ARE MOSTLY ENGAGED IN HATING EACH OTHER-THAT IS, WHEN THEY ARE NOT KILLING EACH OTHER. A DIVERSE,” PEACEFUL, OR STABLE SOCIETY IS AGAINST MOST HISTORICAL PRECEDENT. PEOPLE UNDERVALUE THE UNITY IT TAKES TO KEEP A NATION TOGETHER, AND WE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS MYOPIA. LOOK AT THE ANCIENT GREEKS. DORF’S WORLD HISTORY TELLS US:

THE GREEKS BELIEVED THAT THEY BELONGED TO THE SAME RACE; THEY POSSESSED A COMMON LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE; AND THEY WORSHIPED THE SAME GODS. ALL GREECE TOOK PART IN THE OLYMPIC GAMES IN HONOR OF ZEUS AND ALL GREEKS VENERATED THE SHRINE OF APOLLO AT DELPHI. A COMMON ENEMY PERSIA THREATENED THEIR LIBERTY. YET, ALL OF THESE BONDS TOGETHER WERE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO OVERCOME TWO FACTORS . . . (LOCAL PATRIOTISM AND GEOGRAPHICAL CONDITIONS THAT NURTURED POLITICAL DIVISIONS . . .)

IF WE CAN PUT THE EMPHASIS ON THE “PLURIBUS,” INSTEAD OF THE “UNUM,” WE CAN BALKANIZE AMERICA AS SURELY AS KOSOVO.

VII. THEN I WOULD PLACE ALL THESE SUBJECTS OFF LIMITS – MAKE IT TABOO TO TALK ABOUT. I WOULD FIND A WORD SIMILAR TO “HERETIC” IN THE 16TH CENTURY – THAT STOPPED DISCUSSION AND PARALYZED THINKING. WORDS LIKE “RACIST”, “XENOPHOBE” THAT HALTS ARGUMENT AND CONVERSATION.

HAVING MADE AMERICA A BILINGUAL-BICULTURAL COUNTRY, HAVING ESTABLISHED MULTICULTURALISM, HAVING THE LARGE FOUNDATIONS FUND THE DOCTRINE OF “VICTIMOLOGY”, I WOULD NEXT MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO ENFORCE OUR IMMIGRATION LAWS. I WOULD DEVELOP A MANTRA – “THAT BECAUSE IMMIGRATION HAS BEEN GOOD FOR AMERICA, IT MUST ALWAYS BE GOOD.” I WOULD MAKE EVERY INDIVIDUAL IMMIGRANT SYMPATRIC AND IGNORE THE CUMULATIVE IMPACT.

VIII. LASTLY, I WOULD CENSOR VICTOR HANSON DAVIS’S BOOK MEXIFORNIA — THIS BOOK IS DANGEROUS — IT EXPOSES MY PLAN TO DESTROY AMERICA. SO PLEASE, PLEASE — IF YOU FEEL THAT AMERICA DESERVES TO BE DESTROYED — PLEASE, PLEASE — DON’T BUY THIS BOOK! THIS GUY IS ON TO MY PLAN.

“THE SMART WAY TO KEEP PEOPLE PASSIVE AND OBEDIENT IS TO STRICTLY LIMIT THE SPECTRUM OF ACCEPTABLE OPINION, BUT ALLOW VERY LIVELY DEBATE WITHIN THAT SPECTRUM.” — NOAM CHOMSKY, AMERICAN LINGUIST AND US MEDIA AND FOREIGN POLICY CRITIC.

(Both Governor Lamm and the writer of the e-mail misidentify the author of the book Mexifornia, whose correct name is Victor Davis Hanson.)

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