Jaded Times

Brig Gen Mark Kimmitt has announced that his “war” is longer than most, according to BBC reports. The deputy director of “plans and strategy” for Centcom, the hybrid of military restructuring and cheap long distance rates, summed up his position direct from a rousing round of Risk in the highly secretive War Room:

“Even if Iraq stabilised tomorrow the Long War would continue…On the conceptual level we can agree,” he said. “There will be a long war to be won. But on the practical level it will be harder.”

“I’m an artillery officer, and I can’t fire cannons at the internet” he grudgingly added, motioningly sadly towards a mangled set of Macintosh XServe G5 servers he had been practicing with earlier in the week. In the first, bold move by Centcom, all beer served at military functions will thus forth be room temperature, so as to avoid confusing the current steaming pile of bullshit from its equally ridiculous predecessor.

The actual length of his “war” could not be accurately established by press time.

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